Direct Course #8

World’s Finest Comics #238

 “Chivalry is not dead! It merely sleeps..." -Batman Jr.

The Angel with a Dirty Name 

by Bob Haney writer, Dick Dillin & John Calnan artists. Cover by Ernie Chua & John Calnan
                         
On this particular night, Batman Jr. and Superman Jr. are cycling around at night on a bicycle built for two (yes, really), when they come upon a woman being attacked. She is being attacked by two people in costumes, with giant comedy and tragedy stage masks (which I’ve always felt a bit creepy). The sons of Superman and Batman beat the two men away, and ask the lady why they were attacking her. She responds that her name is Dora Redson, and they were part of her entertainment act, but her van broke down, so she was unable to pay them. Batman Jr. suggests to the young lady a smooch for saving her, but she turns around to plant one on Superman Jr. instead “He’s the super one, so he rates a super kiss!”

After explaining that she was on her way to Kingman Prison, to put on a show for the inmates, Superman Jr. and Batman Jr. offer their services. Superman Jr. uses his strength to help repair her van, while Batman Jr. looks on annoyed that all of Dora’s attention is focused on Superman Jr. They all pile up into Dora’s van after it’s repaired, and take off towards the prison, as the attraction between Dora and Superman Jr. grows.

On stage at the prison, Batman Jr. and Superman Jr. are dressed up in the same costumes that the men they had beaten up were in. Superman Jr. dresses up as a character called Gog, and Batman Jr. dresses up as a character called Magog. The play involves Magog planting a bomb to destroy a town, and then Gog saving the town by tossing the bomb into the air, where it explodes harmlessly. After the play is over, the two heroes get changed to meet Dora afterwards in the warden’s office.

As the sons of Superman and Batman walk through the warden’s door, they are immediately accused of aiding the escape of one of their convicts, Superman villain Lex Luthor. The police tell the two heroes that Dora was his accomplice, driving away with him a half hour ago. Fed up with all the accusations and arguing, Superman Jr. bursts through a barred window, in search of the girl he had such feelings for. Grabbing Batman Jr., Superman Jr. flies off.

The two young heroes suddenly come upon Dora’s van, parked alongside a huge space ship in the middle of nowhere. Inside of the ship, Dora claims that her real name is Ardora, and she is Lex Luthor’s daughter on the planet she’s come from. It’s a planet dubbed Lexor, which they named after their greatest hero, Luthor. She says she was kept hidden from Lex by her mother, because her mother was ashamed that she had bore him a daughter instead of a son, but she promises to prove her worth. As they blast off into space, Superman Jr. and Batman Jr. sneak into the ship before the hatch closes for takeoff.

On their way to planet Lexor, Ardora reveals to Luthor, with the two heroes overhearing everything, that she had planned his escape from the prison, by traveling as a puppet show for her cover, she could use the bomb prop to hide Luthor inside of. After Superman Jr. hurled it into the sky, he jumped out with a parachute strapped on, making his escape. The two men attacking her, was also part of the ruse, because she knew Superman Jr. and Batman Jr. were close by to get their attention. After hearing all of this, Superman Jr. still can’t help but have feeling for Ardora.

As they travel closer to Lexor, Ardora explains to Luthor why she needed to break him out of prison. On her planet, a horrible plague that causes gigantism has spread throughout her people. She believes that Lex Luthor’s scientific knowhow could help them out. Luthor ponders that he knew this would happen all along, he deliberately planted the gigantism plague on her world using a “time bomb” to trigger it. He did this knowing they would need to free him from prison, so he could escape earth justice. He knows there is an antidote waiting at his lab on Lexor, the only thing he didn’t account for, is having a daughter.

After the spaceship lands, Lex and his daughter are stood before a statue of himself. The people welcome him to their planet, just as a person suffering from the gigantism stumbles around them, and accidentally destroys the statue of Lex Luthor. Lex turns around to see his wife, who is also suffering from the gigantism plague. Promising to find an antidote, Lex heads for his lab.

Meanwhile, Superman Jr. and Batman Jr. have slipped out of the spaceship during the commotion. They walk through some strange looking flowers, when the flowers suddenly give off an alarm. One of the guards who arrives to take the heroes, explains that the siren flowers react to the specific colors of Superman’s costume. Superman Jr. and Batman Jr. try to fight off the swarming guards, but Superman Jr. realizes that the planet has a red sun, so his powers are greatly diminished under it.

Stuck under a force field light before a crowd, Superman Jr. and Batman Jr. are unable to move out from it. Ardora tells them that she’s going to wait until her father is done working on the antidote, so he can decide their fate. Superman Jr. tries to moralize with Ardora, telling her that on their planet Lex does terrible things (like stealing 40 cakes), but she doesn’t want to hear any of it and runs off. Before she runs off, Superman Jr. expresses his feeling for her, when she goes Batman Jr. assumes he was using psychology on her, but Superman Jr. tells him that he meant it. A man in the crowd berates Superman Jr. and his father, Batman Jr. exclaims what a crazy world this one is.

Finding his lab, Lex Luthor discovers that a meteor has struck his lab, and ruined all of his equipment. In his anger and sorrow, Luthor loudly regrets having made the gigantism germ, with an antidote taking weeks to prepare, and by that time the plague will have hit everybody on the planet. Coming into the cave lab, Ardora hears what Luthor has said, and regrets ever becoming a scientist to impress him.

Commanding Luthor to make an antidote, Ardora decides to help him. She points out that they need a particular element, but it exists only in the venom of a beast called a Terror Lizard on Lexor. They live in the Lost Zone, which nobody has ever returned from. Instead of using a machine to temporarily give Luthor Superman level powers, they decide to use the two Super Sons. Bringing the two heroes to the lab, Lex holds a ray gun on Superman Jr. Firing it bathes him in a yellow light, that makes his skin filter out the rays of the red sun. Repowered, Superman Jr. agrees to help Luthor and Ardora find the lizard they need, and extract it’s venom. With Batman Jr. riding on his back, Superman Jr. travels through the skies of Lexor.

On their way to the Lost Zone, Superman Jr. crashes into some kind of magnetic sky barrier. Making it on foot now, the Two Super Sons make it across a boiling bog, right before a gigantic dragonfly snatches up Batman Jr. Batman Jr. pulls off a weird extrusion on the bug’s abdomen, that causes it plummet down to the ground with him. After Superman Jr. saves Batman Jr. from falling, an avalanche is suddenly triggered on a nearby crag. Superman Jr. quickly digs a trench under them, and flattens Batman down into the hole while he’s on top. Coming up unscathed from the rubble, a giant lizard attacks the two of them. Superman Jr. recognizes it as the Terror Lizard.

As the Superman Jr. is lunged at by the Terror Lizard, he suddenly starts to grow bigger. Superman Jr. now has the gigantism plague. Plunging his wrist into the lizard’s mouth, he allows for the lizard to bite him. As it does, Superman Jr. starts shrinking back to normal size, the venom in the Terror Lizard seems to have worked. His blood full of the lizard venom, Superman Jr. knocks the beast out. Back at Luthor’s lab, Superman Jr. allows for Lex to draw his blood. Using his body as a vessel for, Superman Jr. has carried the antidote inside himself, so that Luthor can use it “All I need remove is one pint of your blood that contains enough venom to make the antidote for all the plague sufferers!"

With everyone restored back to normal, the Two Super Sons prepare to leave, expecting trouble on Luthor’s end to get him to return with them. Luthor appears before them, ready to willingly go back with them. Superman Jr. uses his x-ray vision to see that Ardora has a gun pointed at Lex’s back. Boarding the spaceship with Luthor, Superman Jr. bids farewell to Ardora, who asks Superman Jr. to remember her.

Bearings

• The planet Lexor and the adventure involving the real Superman and Lex Luthor here, happened in Superman #168

Notes/Observations/Thoughts

• This is probably the strangest story I’ve covered so far. I like the main plot of Lex Luthor and his daughter. A classic tale of betrayal. Then along come Superman Jr. and Batman Jr., at least Superman Jr. seems more involved in the story, but Batman Jr. just doesn’t really do anything. We don’t learn very much about him, except that he likes the girls, and gets annoyed that they all seem to like Superman Jr. instead. It’s entertaining seeing them interact together, but it doesn’t service the story very much beyond that.

• That being said, I love all the crazy Lex Luthor stuff, it almost makes up for the heroes. Lex Luthor planned a plague to devastate an entire planet that thinks he’s a hero, just so that they would be able to break him out of prison so he could cure them, that’s genius. Crazy genius! All foiled by a meteorite, and an unexpected daughter. I also like how he just sort of takes the whole situation in stride, without questioning all the strangeness. The daughter is really well developed too, you can feel some of the emotional weight behind her, when she overhears what Lex was really up to all along.

• I can’t help but thinking that Lex Luthor may have kept some of Superman Jr.’s blood after extracting it.

• The things on Lexor are pretty neat. The flowers are strange, but I like them because they’re strange.

• I didn’t recognize the play featuring Magog and Gog. I got a lot of biblical information from wikipedia about them, but nothing about a specific play like this came up. Magog and Gog are either places or people or both, and they will make the world come together and turn on God towards Armageddon. But Armageddon is just another word for change, and change happens all the time, so I guess every day is Armageddon. Either way, I still don’t know what this play is. I recognize the name Magog from Kingdom Come, this isn’t the same depiction as him, but I wonder if this inspired, or was rattling around in the backs of Alex Ross or Mark Waid’s minds when they created him for that story.

• From what I’ve read online, Superman Jr. and Batman Jr. have a very odd history, and I think I’m going to explore at least one story involving them per DC cycle. This is my first time reading a story with them in it, and although they aren’t very intriguing here, I read about where they come from and what happens to them, to make me eager to explore more. This is what one of the primary objectives of comics should be!

Quotes

“He’s the lifter... I’m the lover!” -Batman Jr.

“What sweet revenge on Superman, his own son fooled into helping me!” -Lex Luthor

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